Dem Hamsterrad entkommen

Sich mehr vom Leben nehmen, Träume jagen, Grenzen überschreiten: In der heutigen Gesellschaft zweifellos verpönt. Immer schneller wird das alltägliche Hamsterrad gedreht. Ein Entkommen ist nahezu unmöglich, suggeriert zumindest unser gezielt programmierter und manipulierter Verstand.

Was aber, wenn man es riskiert? Was, wenn man seinem Herzen die Zügel in die Hand gibt? Was passiert dann? Was würde uns erwarten? Ein Ausbruch aus dem Hamsterrad: So viele sehnen sich danach und doch sind es so wenige, die sich trauen. So wenige, die das Glück in die eigenen Hände legen. So wenige, die sich von all den schweren Fesseln, die uns die Gesellschaft Tag für Tag neu anzulegen versucht, losreißen.

Ich für meinen Teil möchte die Verantwortung für mein Leben selbst übernehmen. Viele, unzählige Jahre hat es gedauert, bis ich die innere Stimme in mir nicht mehr übertönen konnte. Eine innere Stimme, die immer häufiger und vor allem immer lauter rief und mich damit jeden Tag daran erinnerte, dass es nicht mein eigenes Leben ist, das ich lebe. Ich begriff, dass ich mich kleinhalten lasse und ein – von wem auch immer – diktiertes Leben führe.

Das Fass zum Überlaufen brachte wohl meine enorme Unzufriedenheit mit meiner beruflichen Situation: 13 Jahre lang strengte ich mich in der Schule an, um mir mit einem guten Abitur sämtliche Türen zu öffnen. Dann ein Studium, von dem ich schon so lange träumte. Neben der Paukerei ließ ich keine Semesterferien aus, um meinen Lebenslauf mit Praktika bei namhaften Unternehmen zu schmücken. Und dann der Masterabschluss mit 1,4. Für mich war klar: Jetzt endlich, mit 26 Jahren, werde ich für meinen Fleiß entlohnt … Pustekuchen!

Ich nahm eine Tätigkeit auf, obwohl sich schon beim Vorstellungsgespräch alles in mir drin dagegen sträubte. Die Angst vor der berühmt-berüchtigten Lücke im Lebenslauf zwang mich letztlich in die Knie, ich unterschrieb. Vier Monate lang unterdrückte ich dann meine innere Stimme, die sich mit aller Kraft gegen diese Laufbahn wehrte. Vier Monate, in denen ich mich immer mehr zurückzog, immer leiser wurde und alles daran setzte, den Kampf gegen mein Herz zu gewinnen. Vier Monate. Keinen Tag länger hätte ich diesen Kampf kämpfen können.

Am Tag, an dem ich die Fesseln endlich ablegte, konnte ich plötzlich wieder atmen. An diesem Tag habe ich mir geschworen: Nie wieder werde ich meinen Verstand über mein Herz regieren lassen. Es war ein Wendepunkt in meinem Leben. Mit diesem beruflichen Schnitt veränderte sich schlagartig meine gesamte Sicht auf das Leben. Ich begriff: Jeder Einzelne kann die Zügel an sich reißen und sich das Leben kreieren, von dem er immer träumte. Diese Einsicht war gleichzeitig die Geburtsstunde meines Blogs, der Glücksbegegnung.

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